


Alternative Us

by BleedingCoffee



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist, Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types, Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Royai - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-01
Updated: 2014-09-29
Packaged: 2018-02-11 08:50:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2061756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BleedingCoffee/pseuds/BleedingCoffee
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riza has a glimpse of a parallel universe where she and Roy have an amazing life together, however she is returned home to a world where things have not gone so well for them. RoyXRiza in an alternative universe (or two).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Other Side of the Coin

**Author's Note:**

> Just a two chapter writing prompt response. RoyXRiza. Keeping it clean this time around but implied adult situations, character death and alternative universe(or two) are your warnings.
> 
> In response to a writing challenge to explore an AU scenario where a character can see how they live in two parallel universes and see how a distinct point in time altered the course of their life.
> 
> Edited 12/8/14 to fix grammar, spelling and format issues

Disclaimer: I don't own FMA

* * *

* * *

Alternative Us

**Chapter 1**

_The Other Side of the Coin_

* * *

Riza Hawkeyes's eyes opened and she blinked a few times in order to focus on the figure seated a few feet from her bed. When she finally saw him, she felt a smile touch her lips and focused on his handsome face. Roy however seemed worried and his expression didn't change at all as she sat up and looked at him. "What's wrong, what happened?"

"You've been missing for a month." Came the flat reply.

"Missing." She rubbed her eyes and took a deep breath. The emotionless statement made her close her eyes and evaluate her situation. She hoped that when she opened them again she would be able to keep her mind on what her eyes were seeing and not what her brain wanted to see. Her eyes opened again and she saw his expression was more curious now, then she scanned the dark room and drab walls of the outpost and looked at his dusty and worn uniform. "Oh. It's you."

"Who did you think I was?" Roy Mustang narrowed his eyes at her and watched her body deflate and her shoulders slump in disappointment.

"The other you." She answered and saw him look worried again.

"I think I should get the doctor." He stood and looked at her as her eyes seemed to get a little watery. "You're not making any sense."

She watched him walk out of the room and close the door behind him and then closed her eyes to fight off the tears. Of course he was going to think she was crazy or brain damaged, who the hell would believe any of this? Really it all just seemed like some elaborate fantasy that an injured brain would make up. A month ago she would have never believe that the two of them could be more than just co-workers and yet she knew in her heart that it had all been real. She put her head back down on the pillow and let her mind run back to where she had been happy, happy in the arms of a different Roy Mustang.

* * *

Roy looked at the medical file and back up to the doctor standing in front of his desk. "So you can't find anything wrong with Lieutenant Hawkeye?"

"Colonel Mustang," Doctor Melvin Yates paused as the Flame Alchemist's dark eyes tried to stare a hole in his head. "Asking me over and over again is not going to give you a different diagnosis. Lieutenant Hawkeye is in great health and other than being a little confused I can't find anything wrong with her."

"Look again." Roy snapped. "Are there any drugs in her system or perhaps a head injury you overlooked? We found her in the desert, was she dehydrated or delirious? Perhaps bitten by something poisonous?"

"Colonel, if you want to get a second opinion you are welcome to send her to East City however, I would appreciate if you would quit insulting me with these questions. Blood work is perfect, physical exam flawless. Sorry Colonel. Can I return to my actual patients or are you going to require me to stand here for a little while longer so you can berate me and make yourself feel better?"

Roy slapped the folder closed and threw it at him. "You're dismissed."

Yates bent down and picked up the paperwork before leaving. He shook his head. To think a few years earlier this man was the most promising young officer the army had. Oh well, clearly he had screwed up somewhere to be stuck at this outpost waiting for some Ishvalian to get lucky and finally shoot him. When that day came he wasn't going to be too upset to find the jackass's body in a body bag awaiting autopsy. He slammed the door behind him and went back to caring for people who wanted to live.

Roy reached over and picked up an envelope from Central. He knew what it contained but was going to go ahead and open it anyway. He was already pissed off and it would do some good to blow off some steam before visiting Hawkeye again. He grabbed a letter opener and opened the envelope, then placed the letter inside on his desk before reaching for his glove. The transfer request was stamped with a huge red 'Denied', as usual. He slipped his glove on and then proceeded to fold the official paperwork into a paper airplane. He swiveled his chair around and threw the plane out his office window, let it fly about five feet and then snapped his fingers and watched it ignite.

He eyes locked onto the embers as they floated to the ground; the wind toying with them and giving them a little oxygen to fuel the little glowing specks before they hit the wet grass below. It was symbolic of his career, his dreams and his miserable life. How quickly his climb to the top had ended with his career going up in flames the moment his smart ass mouth uttered the words, "Rumor has it the Fuhrer is a Homunculus."

The Fuhrer himself had confirmed it, then told him he was being shipped out to an outpost in Ishval with his most precious asset Lieutenant Hawkeye. Where better to send the Flame Alchemist than an abandoned supply depot in the pit of hell where he had earned his title "Hero of Ishval."? It was a death sentence. Eventually some bitter Ishvalian would finally step up and put a bullet in him, either taking Hawkeye down with him or leaving her to report that she failed to protect her charge. Something that she wouldn't ever forgive herself for. So just with a snap of  _his_  fingers, the Fuhrer had eliminated the threat. He could still hear the bastard's smug voice telling him that any attempts to weasel out of his new command would lead to charges of treason and a firing squad for his entire team and everyone who supported him. Thankfully he got the rest of his team transferred away from him before he took up residence out in the desert. Hawkeye however was condemned to stay by his side, watching his downward spiral into depression, alcoholism and probably suicide. The Fuhrer knew how to punish him for trying to push his way to power.

He hadn't given up trying, he knew that he still had some use or he would already be dead. Most days he wished he was dead for disappointing everyone who supported him. He could imagine meeting Hughes again, his best friend showing him the picture of his beloved daughter and asking him why she would never see her Daddy again. Why he gave his life for a cause that Roy threw away with a slip of the tongue. No, he'd keep trying to claw his way back to civilization even if it was just to ensure Hawkeye didn't wither away and die out here with him.

Then a month ago Hawkeye went missing on a routine patrol. It was the day after she had confronted him about his drinking, accusing him of trying to kill himself with alcohol and save the Ishvalians or Bradley the trouble. It was heated and they both said things they shouldn't have. Or maybe things that  _should_  have been said ages ago. Like how she regretted every letting him know the secret of flame alchemy and how disappointed she was in him. He figured she finally gave up and went AWOL, sick of looking at the failure he became and the embodiment of their shattered dreams. Granted at that point he was hungover and not thinking clearly. Two days later he was sober and panicked that maybe she had been taken hostage. Angry, he took it up with the nearest Ishvalian elder and threatened to burn him alive. Yes, just a shining example of how far he had fallen.

He took his glove off and threw it over his shoulder onto his desk. Instead of being elated that his friend and devoted subordinate was alive and returned to him, he had sat in her room wondering where the hell she had been. Scared that someone had taken her from him and left him with no answers, a final cruel act to drive him to meet his end. He wasn't expecting her reaction when she finally looked at him again and he was worried that the Riza that came back to him was not the one who left. Why the hell would she be happy to see him after he did nothing but fail her?

* * *

"I hate to see you cry." Roy watched her spin around and stare at him. She tried to wipe away her tears to hide them and he handed her a handkerchief to help. "In all these years fighting together I never wanted to see you driven to tears."

"Well now I have a very good reason. You think I'm crazy and I'm back to my own life that I never realized was so empty. I never realized what I was missing out on." Riza thought she could get some peace here in the secluded office with it's cozy fireplace and dusty furniture. Years ago this had been a command center during the war, now it was a place where the new Colonel commanding the run down fort stacked his books and hid his whiskey.

"I thought we had an understanding, that this was going to take time...possibly a  _life_ time to realize my goals. " He said it as if he still believed in his goals or himself. However it was part of his confident facade that he felt she needed and her tears made him want to be that man again. The Roy Mustang they counted on to lead them out of the darkness, instead of the man lost within his own darkness.

"We're no closer than we were ten years ago." She said. "Did you ever wonder if maybe we made a wrong turn somewhere? That maybe one single moment in our past might have made a difference as to where we are standing right now? That perhaps it would have put you where you so want to be instead of us always worrying about being executed for treason?"

"Where is all this coming from?" Roy asked. That was way too detailed to be a thought provoking start to a conversation.

Riza shook her head and finished wiping her eyes and handed him back his handkerchief. "Forget I said anything."

"I can't." He said recalling the earlier conversation. "Who is the "Other me?"

She sat down in a chair and closed her eyes. "You're going to either think I'm crazy or that I'm fantasizing about you...or both. I'm not going to make things any worse for myself right now. Forget I said anything."

"Why would I think you crazy for fantasizing about me?" He asked and sat down across from her. Somehow he managed to channel that old him, that long gone cocky playboy and smirked at her. "I'm irresistible."

She knew he was trying hard to act like things were normal. To determine the truth, he was going to have to put her at ease and reassure her that he was still the Roy who was her friend and not the self-loathing alcoholic who bit her head off every morning. Oh well, he was and always would be an alchemist and he yearned for truth. So she wasn't going to spare him what she knew was the truth. "There is a parallel time-line to our own, an alternate universe with different versions of us living different lives."

"And that's where you were for a month?" He asked skeptically.

"Yes."

"Visiting another universe?"

"Yup."

Roy sat back and saw it in her face that she believed this to be true, and it intrigued him. Hawkeye wasn't one to read science fiction, she was more the romance novel type so this was hardly a typical fantasy for her. He finally asked what had been bothering him, "So why were you so happy to see the 'other me'?"

She hesitated, telling him could ruin her already undesirable existence here. Then again, what the hell did she have to lose? "We were married, had four kids and you were the leader of our country. I took a bullet for you when someone tried to assassinate you and I died in your arms. That's why I was taken from here, to replace that version of me who sacrificed herself for you. Taken so I could have that life where somehow I did a better job of helping you attain your goals, while also making a happy life for both of us. "

"You're right." He said and sat back in the chair to watch her reaction. "It does sound like you fantasize about me a lot."

She covered her face with her hand and sunk into the chair further.

"How did that happen?" Roy asked seeing her response. Riza really was concerned that by telling him this she was going to make things worse. He wanted to hear more, fantasy or not, if she really believed it plausible than he wanted to know how this other him had managed to not screw up his life. It was something he thought about most nights,  _where the hell did I go wrong?_  "What moment put us together?"

She looked at him, his concern was still there but curiosity was starting to take over. "The academy. We went together after you convinced me that I deserved a better life than the one I had with my father. That if I was going to be treated as a family pet and a servant, than I might as well get paid for it and have the military issue me nicer clothes."

"Glad to hear your father was an ass in that world too." Roy said bitterly. He never approved of the way Master Hawkeye treated his daughter or left her to take care of the household and raise herself. Filial piety was a noble concept, but so was proper parenting. "So I got you to leave your father for the military. I'm sure he was thrilled with me."

Riza shrugged. "Other Roy told me that things got heated, but in the end my Father told me that if you were the man I would follow out of his home then it was my burden to determine if you deserved to follow him as the next Flame Alchemist."

"Sounds like him." Roy leaned forward curious as to how she knew all this. "So did you relive your past or read your journal? How did you find out all this about the 'alternative us'?"

"The other Roy is more inclined to share." She responded. "You...he was trying to convince me that the life he was showing me was ours. I asked all the same questions, I had to hear how we ended up with a happily ever after instead of...here."

He nodded. "Continue. I'd love to hear how we dodged the fraternization laws in the academy and didn't get expelled."

"I guess I drug you out of bed one night because your lazy whoring ass skipped out on our study date to go meet up with a girl. You were supposed to help me with Chemistry and you blew me off. We had an exam the next day, an exam I desperately needed to do well on. I went in your dorm room after lights out and woke you up and made you help me with my homework." She replied and trid to not think of the smile on 'other Roy's' face when he told her that memory. It was hard, his smile was something precious and it had been way too long since she saw it from the man in this room with her.

"Oh?" He raised his eyebrows. "So we..."

"No. We didn't." She said. Happy that his mind still had a gutter even if it was clogged with debris. "However you told me it was that night as we snuck out to go study for the next day's test that you suddenly noticed me. That somehow at that moment out in the conservatory that I showed I could be an assertive and surprising girl and that I apparently had a nice ass hiding under my tunic."

"Sounds like me." He smirked. "So I was a slacker who didn't have to try to excel at school or with woman? Not quite how I remember my youth."

"You never had to try, Mustang. You have that brilliance you never have to work for, you excelling at something you slept through was never in question."

"So which version of me are we talking about now?" Roy raised his eyebrows and watched her look away.

She closed her eyes. This was stupid, this was not helping anyone.

"Sorry, continue." He hesitated and then added, "What about us?"

"We started dating and got married after we graduated. " She replied. "Snuck around, met up on weekends at Madam Christmas's bar...you encoded notes to pass to me in class or had Maes deliver them to me. Notes I kept...and I got to read them. The other you was also a little dramatic but very sweet. Back before you lost your innocence in the war. "

He watched her blush a little thinking about it. He was enjoying the story but until he saw her blush he didn't really let it sink in that she was talking about the two of them and a life they lived somewhere else. This wasn't some bedtime story or a romance novel, it was a story about  _them_. "So four kids huh?"

"We waited five years to get started on a family. You came out of the war a hero and with help from a few influential people you became a candidate for President. Still a government controlled by the military, but a few things just slightly different. Bradley was openly criticized for genocide, he wasn't a homunculus just a bigoted man who wanted to blame Ishavlians for the problems in Amestris. The country was reeling from the war they didn't support, they needed a young and impressive individual to restore faith in the government. There you were. You stepped into the role easily, it was like they handed you what you have always been fighting to have."

"We were happy?" He asked trying to picture this life she was telling him about. Something he never considered. They had kids?

"Yeah." She stared into the fireplace and watched the flames dance. "We made all the right moves and we were happy. Until I died saving you and you got lost in alchemy trying to open a hole in the universe."

"That sounds more like me. Defying God to reach across time and space to steal something that isn't mine." He looked at her face. "However...you want to be with him don't you? You want that life, that other me?"

"It was amazing. It was like heaven. All those pictures of us, newspaper clippings, stories from Maes..."

"He's alive?" Roy surprised himself when he heard the excitement in his voice.

Riza nodded. "Just had another baby. Little boy."

"Are you sure this isn't some near death experience? We found you in the desert passed out. Are you sure that this 'heaven' you saw wasn't just that? More plausible than another universe."

"I had a month of debating all this. I don't know. I know that I ended up there in the desert and I thought I was being hunted down. I thought I was in a nightmare, like the ones I usually have about the war. Only to end up in front of you...you with these tears of joy streaking down your face and a kiss..."

He raised his eyebrows as she got quiet. "A kiss?"

"That couldn't be faked. Granted I was flushed with adrenaline from a chase and shocked as hell that you were kissing me...but that kiss made the world stop. I've never felt something like that before, you meant it."

"Then I can do it again."

"What?" Riza looked at his face, his thoughtful expression and that look of confidence in what he was thinking. Something she hadn't seen from him in a while.

"If this is real between us than theoretically there should be the same connection here. Right? That just because we missed an opportunity doesn't mean we lost that forever. So, if nothing happens, maybe you really just have a vivid imagination and a head injury and you can stop moping around. " Finally the part of his brain that made alchemy calculations was running efficiently again and allowing him to process the data and submit a workable hypothesis.

"Why would I want to make myself so miserable by dreaming that up? Especially with you who I haven't thought about like that. You who I can't have that with?"

"We're both getting older. It's something I have to admit I think about too much; Alone, in the middle of nowhere  _going nowhere_. Though, can't say I really thought you'd think of me..." Roy let that trail off and stood up. "So come on, let's see if there is something to this."

Riza tried to pull away as he pulled her to her feet and into him. "No. Not doing this. This is not us!"

"Why, don't want to give up the fantasy?" He whispered. "We've known each other a long time and you're going to tell me that we could have had an amazing life if I only would have taken you to the academy with me and helped you with your homework? Owe it to me to find out, don't you?"

"We don't have that history, another us does."

"Then what are you worried about?" He asked. "I kind of want to see what this earth shattering kiss is like."

"Then you need to lose the love of your life and pull her from another universe to have that again. We don't have that emotion to fuel that..."

"If we are fated to have this, then yes. I just lost you for a month and just got you back from another universe." He pulled her back and reached up to touch her face. Something he had never done before. They had never been this close except in moments of battle when they couldn't be further from this moment.

"Now you really are making me feel like I'm crazy." She tried to pull away from him and he pulled her back.

"Which is why we need to do this to get your head back in order. This is all crazy and quite honestly I need you to be sane to keep me sane while try to get out of here. So...relax and stop fighting me." He was determined now to prove his theory at any cost.

"I accept my insanity but you really don't have an excuse..."

He bent down and pulled her face to meet his, his lips touched hers and she refused to kiss him back. Without removing his lips from hers he said, "Kiss me like you kissed  _him_."

She closed her eyes and put her hands on his cheeks. She wished it was harder to remember what it was like to kiss him, how easy it had been to let him convince her to show what she could have in his life. How she could just step in and take the spot of his dead wife...the better version of her. She opened her eyes and kissed him, just as she had done a few days earlier with a man who looked just like him. A man she really missed more than she wanted to admit.

He reacted to her so quickly and his heart began to race. He was surprised at how she seemed hesitant at first but how quickly she seemed to lose herself in it...and how quickly he countered with his own kiss. One that he didn't think he had in him. All these years of telling himself that it was never a possibility was clearly just a way to keep himself from exploring that possibility.

Riza felt his left arm wrap around her waist as his right hand went behind her head to prevent her from pulling away from him. She took in his scent and it was distinctly different from the Roy who was the father of her children. That Roy played with his kids, gave them alchemy lessons and made them pancakes. His kids burst into his office while he was working to show him their triumphs. He slept on clean sheets beside her and had a distinct smell associated with the aspects of his happy life. Other Roy didn't smell of whiskey, damp wool or a musty cot, he had never had to chase off the stench of despair until he lost her. However they were both incredible kissers and she ignored her olfactory senses and simply concentrated on what his tongue was doing in her mouth. Finally her thoughts slipped away and she concentrated on the present and the Roy Mustang who was currently kissing her for the first time and apparently enjoying it.

* * *

"So is it wrong that I kinda hate this version of me who had everything go right for him?" Mustang stared at the fire as they both sat in silence after discovering that a kiss between them wouldn't end the world. No, instead he found out that he clearly wasn't going to be able to write off her stories as delusions tomorrow and that he suddenly had something worth contemplating in his life.

"It was you...but it wasn't you. That version did have things go right for him which made him into a different person than you are." She knew that it wasn't a comforting thing to say, but he found comfort in truth so it really was all she could offer in response.

"A less bitter, more successful man with a great family and a living best friend who saved the world. Yeah, not me. That's for sure." He leaned back in the chair and watched the flames dance in the fireplace. Flames he watched consume his hopes of a transfer this morning, yet here he watched them mimic the torrent of emotions welling up inside of him now.

"He showed me the wedding album and at first I didn't believe any of it. They were just pictures, everything was still just a touch crazy but there were these pictures of you being happy. I wanted that for you, I wanted you to have that life where you could be there with a youthful smile on your face being happy about the life ahead of you. I wanted...to be there with you to be part of that happiness. Maes and his damned pictures, apparent that is something that transcends worlds."

"So how long did it take for you to accept that you wanted the life someone else lived correctly for you?" Wow that sounded bitter. It wasn't her fault she was here, it was his.

"It's something you never think you have to contemplate." She began to cry. "Sitting there in someone else's bed with their pictures and stories of their life, with someone else's husband and someone else's kids...however your mind only sees the people you know. Genetically those are my children. Legally that man was my husband. However...in reality...they weren't. They weren't and aren't mine because I am living the life that other side of the coin chose for me."

"Well I know myself pretty well and if I were the one who opened a hole in the universe to steal you, then I know I'd keep trying until I got to keep you." Roy stared at the fire again, finding comfort in something he could control. "I guess you better figure this all out before it happens."

"Figure out what?" Riza asked, shocked back to reality by his tone of voice. That monotone he used when delivering orders he didn't like or bad news to people he cared for. His way of masking his emotions.

"If you want to cheat and take some dead woman's life, or stay here and fix the shitty one you made." He sighed. Wow he really was a complete asshole these days. He quickly added, "Or rather that  _I_  made since I was the one responsible for changing your life. For better...or for worse."

"Do you actually believe me?" Riza asked incredulously.

"Yes. If I had that knowledge, I would have done the same thing. We've seen crazier things than the concept of another universe. " He looked over at her and handed her the handkerchief again. "I've also never seen you like this before and I can't say that I like it. Like you've lost something precious."

"I am questioning everything. Everything!" She felt more tears roll down her cheeks. "I think he's so stricken with grief that he doesn't see anything but a woman who looks like the love he lost. I'm not her, so no matter what pictures and stories...and testaments I hear about "us" it's never going to be that. I'm not that person either, even if I find myself loving that life. It's not mine. I'm questioning  _everything_."

"That's an understatement." Roy mused. "So what yanked you back here? Why could he steal you from me but not keep you for more than a month?"

"God? I don't know." Riza blew her nose and got her crying back under control. "The same reason you can't perform human transmutation I would expect. You try to cheat death and he will make you pay the toll one way or another."

"Want to sleep with me tonight?" Roy turned his head to look at her, anticipating her reaction and knowing he was going to have to show her he was sincere and not being an ass.

She looked at him curious if that was some kind of test or question to evaluate her in some way. However his face told her it was a genuinely simple question. "What?"

"Simple question. I guess I'll rephrase it." He stood up and put his drink down. "Want to come to bed with me and we can see where this goes?"

"That's much worse." She watched him extinguish the fire with a wave of his hand.

"You're right, we've been at a dead end here for a while. Never really saw this as a option for us, but after that kiss...and what you've been telling me I saywhat the hell do we have to lose?" He walked over to stand in front of her as their eyes strained to see each other in the room only lit by a small lamp beside Riza's chair.

"Our jobs?"

"That's really all we have anymore. Is that what we're living for? The promise of a tomorrow that may never come? I'm a little more interested in the past I missed out on."

"It wasn't  _our_  past." She watched him stand there above her with an soft look she hadn't seen on his face since they were teenagers. Back when the burdens of their lives didn't weigh them down and haunt them, back when there was a zest for life and desire to test the boundaries. This was the face of a young Roy who wanted to test a theory and see where it took him, not the bitter man who she worked for these days who hated where his decisions had landed him.

"I don't have to compete with him in bed, do I?"

"No but..." She knew what he was asking and even though she had laid beside that Roy listening to him all night, she hadn't allowed it to go farther than a kiss. She laid in his arms and let him tell her how much he loved her and she let him. Now her Roy was here looking to find answers by having sex. They were different men with a different process at times, but she knew Roy was really just looking to find out if they were capable of making love tonight and not just an act of intercourse. He struggled with his emotions too much, in order to make sense of everything he had to eliminate the thought process and proceed with action.

"Stop thinking, you've been thinking too much." He pulled her up into his arms again. "Might not be a love letter but we're a little older now and I think we can figure out a different way of communicating our feelings."

"Yesterday, you would have never considered this."

"Yesterday you were thinking about this with him." Roy pulled her along behind him, noting she was becoming a lot less resistant the closer they got to the door. "So, lets see where this goes. If it's nowhere, at least you're not alone tonight. If it's somewhere...then maybe he's going to have a fight on his hands next time he opens a door to my world."

"This isn't us though..." Riza cautioned, afraid that morning would find them unable to look each other in the eye.

"It hasn't been, but clearly we've more than capable of making this work." He opened the door and let the light of the hall shine on her face. "Clearly the only thing I have to lose is  _you_. So make this easier on me if you decide to leave, let me know there was no chance at a 'could have been'."


	2. Equivalent Exchange

_Alternative Us_

Chapter 2

**Equivalent Exchange**

* * *

Roy's eyes fluttered open and he fought the urge to nod back off to sleep. He tried to move and felt arm pinned by something and looked down at the girl on his arm. It wasn't an odd occurrence, he took plenty of women to bed with him and often found them draped over his body in the morning with little or no recollection of the previous night. Whatever the hell he drank last night had to be damned good and probably cost half his paycheck because he could swear he had sex with Riza. Heknew he was really at rock bottom if he finally took some blond to bed and pretended she was Riza. He raised his eyebrows as the girl rolled over under the sheets and rested her head on his chest, her long golden hair spilling over his arm and her hand now rolling up his chest to wrap around his neck.

Holy Shit! He really did have sex with Riza last night! That wasn't a dream! He let his head lean back into the flat and uncomfortable pillow and stared at the ceiling. His mind replayed the previous night and early mornings activities and his grin returned. He didn't fault himself for not believing it at first, any sane man would question the memories of a night like that. Fifteen years of sexual frustration really was a powerful thing.

He picked up his head and looked down at her again and felt a genuine glow come over him. She was beautiful, not just because she was naked and lying on him in his bed. It wasn't something he had never noticed, it just was a powerful thing to wake up to in the morning. She seemed to look so natural and comfortable cuddled up close to him. It was normal for him to wake up confused and surprised that he had another body in his bed, but Riza was not a whore like him. She clearly had some experience, something he found out last night, but she respected herself and her body too much to be the philandering bastard he had become.

He put his head back down, his neck protesting the awkward position and starting to cramp. So now it was time for the guilt. What exactly did this achieve? He didn't have a clue how to get out of here without risking everyone's lives. He had nothing to offer her, not like that 'other Roy' who was just Mr. Fucking Perfect. Hell, he couldn't even make their first time right! Seriously Roy? That's how you ask a woman like this to sleep with you!?  _Fucking idiot._

"You OK?"

He swallowed hard and realized he must have said the last words out loud. He looked down at her sleepy eyes and everything left his brain and the frustration melted off his face. "Just regretting my lack of romance last night. You deserved better than that."

"I liked the direct route." Riza said softly. "Not really the kind of girl who wants a car load of flowers."

"Not quite on par with what you read in your books..." Roy ran his hands through her hair and smiled.

"What books?" She whispered, not quite sure what he thought she was reading at the office.

"Those romance novels you read."

"I don't read romance novels."

"What about  _Romance of the Three Kings_?" He hoped he would score points for being observant and not lose them for being a stalker. However he was curious now, eager to gain some new iota of knowledge about her now that they had been together this long.

"King- _doms_. As in the Three Kingdoms era of Xing, a novel about the war." She put her chin on his chest and looked at his furrowed brow. He was wracking his brain to come up with another title to prove his point.

" _A Night to Remember?_ "

"About an unsinkable ship being sunk by an iceberg." Riza smiled amused at the display of expressions on his face.

"Hmmm.." Roy thought about that.

"You should really explore more than the alchemy section of the library." She said as he gave her the most pleasant and sweet grin she could have ever imagined.

"Apparently I should have explored a lot of other options."

Riza laughed and looked at him as he smiled down at her. She thought the morning would come and it would be awkward and more depressing than it had been, but somehow they were here talking like they used to. Laughing and smiling. His smile was genuine right here and she couldn't help but run her hand over his face.

"What about... _A Tale of two Titties_?"

She laughed and slapped his bare chest. Yes this was definitely  _her_  Roy."Haven't read that one, I'm sure it's on your bookshelf."

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to smell the scent of the shampoo in her hair. "I'm sorry that I got us here."

"In your bed?" She asked knowing that wasn't what he meant.

"Here." He said and let his eyes look at the room littered with dirty clothes, coffee cups growing mold, complex cobwebs and old water stains on the cracking plaster ceiling. "You said you'd follow me to hell and I sure lead us straight to it and pitched a tent in the square."

"Where have you been Roy?" She sat up and looked at his face. Unguarded for the first time in ages. "Where the hell have you been keeping this part of you?"

"Under gallons of booze."

Sadly that was really the honest answer. "You didn't have to hide from me."

"You didn't have to protect me either. Not from what you really felt...not about how I let you down."

He ran his hand over her tattoo and the scar on her shoulder. "I should have seen it back then, when you asked me to destroy your back. How ashamed you were of me."

"You had no choice." She said quietly. "I blamed myself. I saw what it did to you and it was all my fault for giving you those secrets. Knowing those days still haunt you and it's all my fault..."

"I could have said no." He said. "But instead I did what I was told, even though I knew it was wrong. Even though I knew it was exactly what I promised I would never do with your secret. That made me unworthy of you, your loyalty and your life. Yet you stayed and I punished you for it."

"This is just another assignment." She said quietly. "Not the end of the world."

"It will be." He said and sighed. "And I'm leaving it to a pair of teenagers to take care of on their own because I fucked up."

"Then let's get out of here."

He pushed a loose strand of her hair behind her ear and leaned in to kiss her again. "What if I'm not that man anymore?"

"If you weren't, I would have killed you already like I promised. You're still in there Roy, I know you are. So don't let them win." She whispered. "I'm by your side until the very end, please don't let our last day together be the day those bastards use you as a human sacrifice."

"On one condition."

"Ok."

"Have dinner with me tonight."

She let a smile tug at her lips. "I have dinner with you every night that you bother to show up for dinner."

That was true, if he determined it was one of those few days he needed real nourishment instead of a belly of bourbon he'd make his way to the mess hall and they'd sit in silence and eat. "Ok, fine. How about you have sex with me now for breakfast?"

She felt his hand roll over her back, his fingers tracing the perimeter of her scar as those words stirred something in the pit of her stomach. "Making up for lost time are we?"

"Would you believe me if I said I was trying to apologize for everything I've done and said that was wrong?"

"Not really." Riza replied and leaned up to give him a kiss. "But I'll let you do it anyway. You're tongue is quite skilled even when you're not using it to talk."

He let the world fade back into the shadows as her lips touched his and her chest dragged across his. Last night was the first time they had ever been together yet this morning it felt like there was nothing but comfort and familiarity in this bed between them. His arms wrapped around her body as she began kissing his jawline to his earlobe, his breath catching with every move she made. Her kisses were light and her lips dragged across his skin delicately as his hands began to beg for another chance to worship her perfect body. It was hard to concentrate as she traced his collarbone with her tongue and placed a kiss on his Adam's apple. At this point she was just appreciating him and he worried a little about what she could really do if she was aiming to tease instead.

Roy's finger's traced her tattoo closest to her tailbone and then started to wander as she slid down his body a bit to gain access to his chest. She let a breath catch in her throat as he dragged three fingers over the side of her breast before running them over her shoulder scar and down her arm. She gained a moment of concentration as she licked around his nipple but had to stop as he took her hand in his and brought it to his mouth. She looked up at those dark and delicious eyes as he began to place kisses on her palm.

They were going to have to start having breakfast more often.

* * *

Riza walked down the hall with a smile still on her face. Reveille wouldn't sound for another half an hour but she was already dressed and ready for the day. To wake up and greet the sunrise with an actual purpose again was a very welcome change. Even when she had been with 'Other Roy', she woke up expecting to be back in her own bed, dreading the monotony of the day and the tired routine. When she woke up next to that man, it felt surreal. The optimism that surrounded him, the joy of his family and life, seemed to be what made the concept so difficult to accept. He looked forward to his day. It was the fog that clouded her vision, a way for her mind to tell her that that life was not hers.

She stopped and reached for the office doorknob, thinking about that. Last night there had been passion. Years of pent up frustrations, both personal and professional, had lead them to tumbling around his bed like a pair of animals. Clawing and nipping at each other, both of them trying to take command of the other to bring years of their lives to a head with one night's inhibitions. When the anger and lust faded, the curtain of denial was drawn back and they looked at each other for the first time in years. It would be no surprise to anyone to know Roy Mustang was built of a series of complicated facades that would only chip and crack to reveal another layer. Most people would be surprised that she had a softer side to her, but even she was just as guilty of fortifying the walls around herself. It was supposed to be how they protected themselves, but it only managed to give them less and less reason to venture outside of those self made barricades. Last night, the walls came crashing down just because of one innocent smile that he allowed to surface. An innocent smile from their youth, from a boy she thought was long dead and suffocated by the demons he carried.

Riza let a soft smile touch her lips as she thought about it. That ray of light, just the slightest upward tilt on the edge of his lips had made the fog lift. That was the man she'd fight for, even if she had to fight dozens of fake Roy Mustangs that he had created to defend the innocent core.  _That_  man needed to see the light of day again and take in the fresh air, to crawl out of the rubble of the shattered versions of himself and remember the day he looked up to the top and said he was going to fix this world. She felt a warmth spread through her chest and took in a deep breath. A full smile spread across her face and she opened the door to the office and stared at a man who should not have been there. "Hughes."

"Funny thing about jumping between universes is that two of the same individuals can't occupy the same place at once." Maes Hughes pushed his glasses up his nose and leaned against the desk. "So after you told us that I had met with an untimely end here...well it made sense that I be the one to appeal to you to return with me."

Riza stepped inside and closed the door. Her heart, just swelling with pride and hope seconds before, started to pound. In the quiet of the darkened room, it was all she could hear. She stood up tall and pressed her back against the door. This was Hughes, albeit not the Maes Hughes that belonged here, but it was still a man who could read people and their reactions like a book. He was on a mission to save his best friend and leader and wouldn't hesitate to take the actions he deemed necessary to facilitate the outcome he wanted. She couldn't let him know that, even through their goals were identical, the man they supported was not the same. "You do realize you're asking me to come with you and take over the life of a dead woman? That no matter what grief that alleviates for the moment that it will inevitably cause catastrophic problems?"

"I've known you for a long time." Hughes said and watched her eyes drift around the room, always the trained eye looking for the slightest movement in the shadows. Sizing up her enemy. "You forget that I was a part of your life too. I know you can't be happy here. Not because you don't have the man you love, but because he is miserable."

"So this other me would be perfectly happy surrendering her life to a stranger who clearly screwed up her first life? I know myself pretty well too and I know I would never trust a person like that with what I hold dear." Riza locked eyes with him and she knew he was on to her. Her questions were accusations instead of curious requests for more information.

"You were the one who went over to the other side first." Maes wasn't expecting to find so much resistance after such a short amount of time. Then again he should have expected Riza to be prepared to dig in and fight. "There is another world on the other side of us, one where you did not survive. In that world...Roy died too. The world was much darker than you think this one is. However the individuals that killed him there were interested in finishing him off in my world too...so you returned to save him..."

"So you're telling me that  _your_  people caused all these problems. That by meddling in these wormholes that  _you_  caused the death of your own first lady?"

Hughes raised his eyebrow as she stepped forward and raised her voice. "They invaded us first. Destroyed their world and were moving on ours. So we took their technology and after turning them back...sought to right the wrongs."

"By doing the exact same thing?" She shook her head disapprvingly. "I don't think I like the men you both have become there. "

Hughes was about to say something when he heard a 'click' from the darkness. Someone had just clicked off the safety of his service weapon. Something must have happened between them for Roy to be awake before dawn, otherwise he'd still be in bed wallowing in his own self-pity and depression. This would complicate things. "So...do I get to meet the other Roy Mustang?"

Roy emerged from the shadows and looked at his lost friend. He had heard voices in his office and used the other door to sneak in. He wanted to surprise Riza and watch the sunrise from his window with her, the symbolic 'dawn of a new day' that wouldn't be lost on her. He was hoping to hold her in his arms and watch the light peak over the horizon not greet this man who rose from the dead. "Son of a bitch."

"I'm sorry that I have to do this to you, but my loyalty is to my friend and my President not this other version of you who has botched your life. How many times have you had that gun in your mouth Roy? Thinking about ending it all? " Hughes didn't move. He remained still, making eye contact with the broken down version of his friend. The bags under his eyes, the stubble growing on his cheeks and an old uniform that hung on him denoting the body underneath was malnourished and thin. A defeated man who no longer cared for his own well being.

She looked at Roy and saw the gun shake. How had she not seen this? "You...did. Didn't you?"

"I know my best friend." Hughes said sadly. "Unfortunately I had to beg him to not end it all six months ago when we kept finding you dead in every world we crossed. Riza knew this darkness was inevitable which is why it was her orders to find another you to help ease his pain. You did want this, because when the ultimate sacrifice was made you wanted your family to be taken care of even if it meant you would be erased. That's why, when you were killed, we didn't let anyone know. As far as everyone is concerned, even your own children, Riza Mustang is simply on a mission and is alive and well."

"I ordered you to..." She stared at him wide eyed. "What kind of monster was I?"

Roy blinked as he heard Maes say her name. Riza Mustang. It made sense. She was married, she'd take his name, but he didn't expect to like the way it sounded so much. "So where is she? Do you bury her in a nameless grave?"

Maes answered quietly, "You cremated her."

Roy stared at his lost friend and knew that look. " _I._..cremated her? As in..."

"Yeah. You immediately looked to alchemy to save you from your grief. I talked you out of human transmutation and you...chose to cremate her yourself. You didn't want anyone else to touch her but you. You...wanted her to be warm again so you..." Hughes rubbed his face. He never wanted to remember that night and it was worse sharing it with a stranger. "It was a rough night followed by many more."

Roy wondered if he could have that kind of strength and resolve. To snap his fingers and erase the body of the woman he loved? To be the one who actually turned her to ash? He looked at Riza and a part of him ached thinking about the prospect of not having her in his life. He was happy to erase himself from this world, he was at this point a complete fuck-up, but he didn't consider what it would do to her. How long they had been together, how they knew each other so well they could communicate on a mission with just looks. Burning her back had been horrible enough, yet there was a version of him that had the strength to burn her entire body? Even if it was just an empty vessel, he couldn't do that. Destroy something so perfect, letting the alchemy that had taken so much from her be what consumed her mortal body as well.

"Honestly I think it's a rather charitable thing to do, sacrificing yourself so a stranger can have the life you made for yourself? Really? You see that as a monster? I see that as a saint!" Hughes stood. "I have seen what happens to your family if you don't return. You don't want to know what I have seen. So please, we need you to return and we don't have time to fight about this."

"What do you mean 'don't have the time'?" Roy asked, still holding the gun at his 'friend'.

"The thing about parallel universes is that the lines between the two aren't exactly straight, that they do come close enough at points for us to bridge that gap and travel between the two. Briefly. However when they get close enough again than sometimes the universe tries to right itself and correct the imbalance, or meddling, and that's why you were returned. "

"What's to stop that from happening again?" Riza asked, afraid of the answer.

"I'm going to have to make sure we drive the course of this world away from parallel...so that we no longer run the risk of coming this close again." Maes stood and could see the gun in his peripherals adjust to keep him in Mustang's sights.

Roy's voice was low and nonthreatening, just a emotionless response. "So you're here to kill me."

Hughes frowned. "I wish that you weren't always so damned smart."

They stood in silence as the first rays of sunlight began to brighten the room a little. Roy let his arm lower and looked to Riza. "You should go. You said yourself it's like heaven, I think I've kept it from you long enough. You should go and have that family and life you deserve."

"Roy..." Riza gasped, her heart felt like a dark hand wrapped around it and squeezed.

"That man wasn't an idiot who left you to rot away with him in some remote barracks. That man knew the good thing he had and made sure you knew it. Stop getting your head wrapped up in all the details, we both know that in that situation we would have done the exact same thing. That if this life was worth fighting for...we'd be over there right now making sure we got to keep it. However I screwed this up, I let you down and this is nothing worth fighting for." Roy regained his focus, his mind locking on to the correct course of action now.

"We only just...Roy we only just tried to make something of this last night." She saw him rise up and steel himself against his emotions and knew if she didn't act quickly he'd wall her out again.

"Last night doesn't make up for a lifetime of me letting you down. I've only seen you as a secretary and a bodyguard, I don't deserve you and you know it." He looked to Hughes. "Get her out of here and I'll take care of ensuring our paths never cross again."

"What.." She reached for him as he swallowed hard and looked at his revolver. Her heart began to pound, was he really considering taking himself from her now!?

"Go, don't make her watch this." Roy waved off Hughes who seemed to understand him just like his old best friend did. Those sad eyes, the bow of the head as he accepted what was necessary and the posture of a soldier who knew how to repress his conscience for the sake of a mission.

Hughes nodded. "I never do."

"Roy!" She felt Hughes grab her arm and watched Roy lean against his desk, deep in thought.

"Riza, this is my end now or later. At least I can die knowing you will be happy. It's equivalent exchange. His Riza died protecting him...I'll give my life to protect you. This whole time I've been willing to throw away our lives to save this country that is too far gone and me with it. You however, are not a lost cause. Have that life you deserve, I'm more than willing to pay the cost of that toll."

"That's not how life works you coward!" Riza screamed. "You can't just give up!"

"Riza, it's equivalent exchange." He said it again that simple phrase making everything so much clearer in his foggy and rotting mind. "A life...it's made up of decisions and actions instead of elements or ingredients. I have failed to create this life through my own inadequacies, failure has it's cost. There is no reason you need to be included in the price paid for my failure. Especially not when you have a family to take care of. I know myself and that Roy will turn to human transmutation if you don't go to him, he thinks he is better than everyone else who has tried and he will open up his world to homunculus and ruin it just like here."

"Then Maes can stop him."

"I lost my parents...I don't want those kids to go through that." Roy cleared his throat and found his commanding tone again. "Now get her out of here Hughes."

"If that Roy is willing to take himself from his children than I don't want him.!" Riza snapped, a cold edge to her voice betraying her bitterness. She looked into his watery eyes. "That's  _not_  my life."

"Riza..."

"Don't go where I can't follow!" She felt the tears streaming down her cheeks. "Don't...send me away where you can't follow."

"I can't give you anything." Roy waved his bare hand around to show the squalid living conditions he condemned them to. "You deserve to have everything."

"I only ever needed you." She said quietly. "I don't know that man, I however know you."

"Damaged, depressed, failure?"

"You're  _my_  Roy Mustang." She said. "I know you, I know what you're capable of. If you're going to shoot yourself then shoot me first because I am as much to blame for us being here as you are."

His breath caught in his throat as he digested those words.  _My_  Roy Mustang. He really didn't deserve that. He watched her pull from Maes's grasp and run over to him, her arms around his neck and her hands clenching his shirt in her fists.

"Your  _my_  Roy." She repeated. "I'll protect you from everyone, including yourself, until my dying breathe. You bastard! Don't you dare give me last night and take it back. That's more cruel than showing what we could have had, because that woman was not me. I'll take this life, no matter where it leads because it's the one we've made. Even if it ends today, at least this is my life. Not someone else's."

Maes let loose a heavy sigh, knowing when he was defeated.

"Just find another me somewhere. One who doesn't have someone she has to protect." Riza said and looked back at Maes while taking Roy's gun from his hand. Maes nodded, knowing that the only way to take her back was by force. He clearly knew her well enough to know that would never work.

"I hope...this works out for you." Maes said genuinely.

Roy's arms wrapped around Riza, every fiber of his being letting loose a sigh of content. If they were to die feeling like this, together, he could say he did live a life riddled with failure but certain worth living. Just to hold her and be held like this.

Maes broke the silence. "You should seriously consider getting yourself a wife, Roy."

Roy's eyebrows raised. Some things apparently never changed no matter what universe you were from.

"Riza, your kids have been working on your macaroni picture technology and have practically depleted Central of all pasta while creating their masterpieces. They're going to be disappointed that you won't show them more." Maes was stalling, he knew it. He didn't want to see Roy's face when he returned alone.

Roy frowned. "Macaroni picture technology?"

"It's not something we have. Your Riza, taught them." Maes explained. "We eat our pasta and don't play with it or glue it to paper plates. Well, I guess we do now. Your kids are pioneers in macaroni art now."

Riza smiled. "I'm sure their Dad can figure it out. It's not human transmutation, it's just macaroni."

"Don't wait forever to start a family." Maes took a picture out of his pocket and placed it on the desk.

"Think I might finally listen to your advice, Maes." Roy said.

"Good luck to you both." Maes said quietly, ashamed that he failed. Afraid to tell Roy he was just going to have to keep suffering. However he would understand, because it's why he loved Riza so much.

"Tell him..." Riza bit her lip. "Thank you for showing me what I almost lost. There's a girl out there somewhere who needs someone to protect. Tell him he needs to save her. He'll find her and he'll be her salvation. "

"You always are." Maes said and left them as the beams of sunlight began to peak through the window behind them.

* * *

Dr. Yates sighed and looked at dog tags on the neck of the charred corpse. So Roy Mustang was finally on his slab. Ironic that he managed to set himself on fire before he shot himself. Perhaps he was trying to erase the evidence of the suicide so his family could get his death benefit? Who knew what went through that man's mind. Pity he had to ruin a good bottle of bourbon to do it.

He looked over at the woman's body on the next slab. Now there was a true loss, Lieutenant Hawkeye was an exceptional officer and it always bothered him that she remained loyal to this asshole. He expected him to be the death of her, but not like this. He didn't think Mustang had sunk so low as to shoot his loyal subordinate before taking his own life.

He sat down at his desk and called Central Command. A murder-suicide like this would require investigation and he didn't want to piss off anyone. Last thing he wanted was to be stuck here for his career. Colonel Frank Archer was now in charge of investigations, he could deal with the bodies and crime scene when he got here with Mustang's replacement.

* * *

"How does it feel to be a dead man?"

Roy turned to look at Riza and smiled. "Pretty damned liberating. Nice to stick someone else with the paperwork for a change. Especially Dr. Yates, he's going to have to deal with enough calls to set the phone lines from Central on fire."

"Where to?" She asked as she sat down beside him.

"Probably better go see my Mom before she gets the official notice that I'm dead." Roy said and wrapped his arm around her as the box car rattled down the tracks.

"Very thoughtful." Riza leaned into him, he smelled smokey.

"The Ghost of Roy Mustang is quite the thoughtful and handsome bastard." He smiled. "I look damned good in wrapped in sheets too."

"I noticed."

He pulled her close to him. "So, still interested in saving the world?"

"We probably should." She said and looked up at him, a grin on his face that was genuine. "Before some fangirl performs human transmutation to bring you back from the dead."

"Me? I'm having to fend off fanboys from another universe in order to keep you!" He took out the picture Maes had left them again and smiled. Four kids and one happy couple. A boy sitting on his shoulders, another one trying to take the glove off his hand and two girls that looked just like they were the mischievous ones. A BB gun was slung from the tallest's shoulder and she had his eyes, but her mother's beautiful determination. So this was the future he was looking for? "I still hate this guy."

She sat up and crawled over him so she could straddle his lap. "Let me make one thing clear."

"Kinda hard to think with you on my lap like that." Roy gave her a suggestive smirk.

"You gave  _me_  the burden of ending your life." She said and poked him in the chest. "You, therefore, have no right to make that decision yourself. If I ever hear, feel or see you thinking about it again I will break your damned fingers."

"Probably a bad time to point out I just technically killed both of us by stealing a pair of cadavers and tweaking them with alchemy to look like us." He grinned. "Though the ghost of Riza is apparently a lap dancer and I'm OK with that."

"Roy." She snapped. "I'm being serious!"

"We've been serious for way too long." He rested his hands on her hips and smiled. "It's nice to feel alive again instead of waiting for death."

She couldn't resist taking his face in her hands and kissing him. Perhaps as a reward for choosing life, or maybe for finally choosing her over everything that didn't work out. Why it felt so natural to be sitting on him like this or to be unable to resist touching him after just one night. One night was all it took to transition them from business to pleasure and she wanted to scream at God for not allowing her to see how simple or right it would be. For allowing them to waste so many years being so close yet never this close. For letting a man like this teeter on the brink of self-destruction before she reached out and pulled him back.

"You're crying again." He sat up and let his grin fade and concern wash over his face as she sat up. Her tears had fallen on his cheek as she kissed him and now they ran down her own cheeks. He reached up and brushed one away and tenderly caressed her jaw. The jaw that had always been set in frustration or determination due to something he had said or done, now all he wanted to do was trace it with his fingers and admire her soft skin and adorable chin.

"I'm just...thinking about how we've lost so much time. That if we had seen this alternative us before that things may have turned out differently."

He rested his head against the train car wall and let his finger twirl around her hair. Now he didn't have to fantasize about it, he really could just reach out and touch her. She even leaned into his touch now, something that made his heart swell. "I think it's been well established that I'm a fucking idiot when it comes to you. Had we indulged in this before, I would have put you at risk. To be honest, I thought myself invincible and until I landed us here I would have never been convinced otherwise. I'm just a fool who needs to see what I have to lose before I can truly see."

She closed her eyes. "No matter how tempting those visions of our perfect life were, I'd rather travel this road with you than be handed something I didn't earn. Life is  _living_ this journey. A lesson without pain is meaningless. You cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return. "

"Nothing's perfect, the world's not perfect, but it's there for us, trying the best it can. That's what makes it so damn beautiful." He said and ran his hands through her hair and let a warm smile touch his lips. "So how about we make up for lost time? It's a long ride to Central."

She let a smile grace her lips as she drank in the beauty of the man in front of her. How he could say something so eloquent one second and without missing a beat top it with something so sweetly laced with sexuality it made you want to smack him. She bent down and rewarded him with another kiss as the train rattled along on the steel tracks carrying them back into the fight and into a brighter future no matter what end they might meet.


End file.
